Real Gone
Stuck in the D.C. Suburbs with coffee, sports talk, political thought, cat appreciation and the great outdoors. You name it, it's probably covered here.

Thursday, July 17, 2003  

Young, dumb and full of cancer prevention

From the Outback, we get a scientific breakthrough even greater than those steak house radio commercials.

Take it, Reuters:

Research by Australia's Cancer Council Victoria found that the more often men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to suffer the disease that kills more than half a million men each year.

The survey of 1,079 prostate cancer patients and 1,259 healthy men found that those who masturbated or had sex at least once a day in their 20s were a third less likely to develop the malady.

"For men in their 50s of course that's often not achievable," Graham Giles, who led the research team, told Reuters on Thursday. But "masturbation isn't bad for you. I don't believe in the blindness and hairy palms theory. Prohibitions against ejaculations are not based on science."

That's a great quote.

So gentlemen, whether you admit it or not, this is some intriguing news, no? Regardless, feel proud: The charged-up libido of the young male, so often scorned and mocked, has apparently cured cancer. Kudos to us.

posted by John | 11:58 AM
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003  

Who do you hate?

After mentioning my list of hate in the last post, I realized I hadn't flushed it out in awhile.

So after some careful, late-night thought, here's the updated, Real Gone hate list, in order of supreme hatred:

Jim Leyritz: Top of the list. Looks like a mongoloid. You wouldn't trust this guy near machinery, children, animals, automobiles. But damn if he hasn't ape-walked up to the plate and killed the Braves in two postseasons for two different teams. I hate Jim Leyritz with a passion.

Michael Irvin: Coke Nose the Clown continues to dig his talons of evil into me by joining the ESPN Sunday NFL show. Good choice Mike, you got me again. I laughed when "The Playmaker" lay crumpled on the Vet turf, by the way. I reinacted it for my friends. Can't wait to see what pajamas he sports on ESPN. So is he replacing Bill Parcells or Sterling Sharpe? And where's the nearest mirror?

David Aldridge: ESPN's David Aldridge is reporting that David Aldridge is an asshole. The smarmy one laughed off (and never answered) a question a certain young reporter asked him in a crowded hallway (we media types were all crammed in there while President Clinton was whisked out of the building while we were waiting to talk to Phil and MJ). You should have heard him bitching during the week after 9/11 when he had to cover the Redskins because no one could fly. What a colossal ass.

Rick Pitino: Supposed basketball coaching genius who turned a struggling, though once-great, Celtics NBA franchise into one of the league's laughingstocks before exiting with his green -- and I'm not talking about clovers. An absolute fraud.

Lars: He would have you arrested for downloaded "Enter Suckman" or something off of Sucktallica's great albums "Suck" and "Re-Suck." As the great philosopher Butt Head once said: "Sit your ass down, Lars." And shut up. And stop making albums.

Eric Gagne: Welcome, Canadian. You've set up the National League representative in the World Series to be without home field advantage. Hope it was worth selling your soul. What's funny is I already won a bet last season concerning this ugly-goateed clown, because I was smart enough to know John Smoltz was better than he was. And the final stats bore that out.

Larry King: This mostly stems from his now (thankfully) defunct USA Today column that used to run in the life section.

That may or may not be it. If I remember another lucky star, I'll add him to the list.

posted by John | 2:56 AM
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Someone new to hate

Let's say you're a fan of the best team in baseball (that would be me).

And a player (from Canada) who plays on a team that's not as good as yours loses the All-Star game -- which, in case you haven't heard, means something this year. And now the Atlanta Braves, whose players performed well in the All-Star game, won't get home field advantage in the World Series (should they make it) because Eric GAGne couldn't close a game. SOMETHING HE HAD DONE WITHOUT A PROBLEM 39 CONSECUTIVE TIMES GOING INTO THE FREAKING ALL-STAR SHAM.

From the Mothership:

Gagne allowed only 23 hits, 11 walks and 10 runs in 45.1 innings before the All-Star break, striking out 76, and he converted all 31 save chances. "To look at it on paper," said Anderson, "we weren't supposed to score any runs off Gagne."

Why, Dusty, why? To screw your old team, the Giants? Why not take Gagne out and put in the greatest closer in the game, John Smoltz?


But at least my Bravos have a built-in excuse come October.

posted by John | 2:30 AM
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Monday, July 14, 2003  

So long, I suppose

I have mixed feelings about the predicted demise of the Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Md.

I'd have torched the place myself last month after my experience at the Neil Young & Lucinda Williams concert. Rush-hour traffic that made my 18-mile trip last 2 hours and 15 minutes . . . . parking lot Nazis pouring out beer and ticketing drinkers . . . . $7.50 beers inside the facility. Bad, bad and bad, especially since I hopscotch to Wolf Trap from my house.

But today's story from The Post indicates that the area around the MPP is going to be turned into -- shocker -- more strip malls, shopping and apartments. Just what every neighborhood in the D.C. Metro area needs, right? Please.

So instead of a concert venue -- which, for all of its faults, is in a large wooded farm area and brings in about 20 concerts all summer -- we'll have more houses and crap bringing in more stupid people and their SUVs and traffic and soccer moms and screaming kids. I'm not sure that's an improvement, even over such a piss-poor music venue that I'll never again visit.

posted by John | 12:32 PM
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